Who is lisa lampanelli dating
He was, maybe, the most gorgeous black guy I slept with, but I didn’t really sleep with him because -- guess what? I might as well make the best of it.” And then he’s like, “No, no, not that one, the left one.” Now, how frickin’ specific is that bullshit? She really loves us.”  Either way, the faggots flock to me. And that’s the Jesus, by the way, that’s sending you all to hell. So, if I was going to jump onto the tuna boat, at least I have a good catch. But if they have self-love, they’re like, “Wow, she’s just kidding. So if the cunt in meditation class will play a tape of my stand-up, I can mediate to it, but if there’s some monk moaning, I don’t want to hear that. I do feel like I make the world a better place, and if that isn’t spiritual, dammit, I don’t know what is. Well, I used to be until I found out what a supreme racist Obama is. I am also excited about my sitcom that I am putting together with Jim Carrey, a TV series that we’re going to develop for HBO. I have written my autobiography, which is coming out September 15, which is called but with a less happy ending. What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned about yourself lately? I can’t believe I'm mentioned in the same sentence." And actually, the Archie Bunker thing is weird -- because my penis is a lot bigger. I wish I was [interested], because I get hit on by so much hotter women than the guys who hit on me. And I think you all think I use duct tape to get dressed. You see the big tits and the big hair -- they think I am one of them. And also, gay guys do have extreme self-love or self-hate, so in my show, that self-hate works because they think they deserve to be called cornholes. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me. Unfortunately I have a black couch, and if he were on it he would blend in and I wouldn’t see him.
'Round and 'round she goes, and where she stops, expect her to blow.
I should write a Broadway show: The closing number is “Boy, Is My Cunt Tired.” Luckily, now that I have some self-esteem, I’m trying out guys with jobs and stuff. But I am still annoyed at the dating process because all these guys are a huge disappointment.
-- he flies all the way to Vegas to see me and does not bring a condom! And then he’s like, “Instead of doing that, why don’t I jerk off and you lick my nipple! I have more button choices on my satellite radio, OK!
“It’s like they feel risqué or bad or naughty being with somebody my size.
It’s not OK,” she said of guys using the word “curvy.” “If you date me, you’re going to get a lot more than you bargained for.
That’s pretty much how you can sum up savage insult comic Lisa Lampanelli.