Borderline dating

19-Nov-2017 09:35

’s, but it was also hugely beneficial to my previously bruised mental health.Ever since I was young, I had troubles with depression and anxiety that prohibited me from living a fulfilling life, but this newfound relationship gave me a solid foundation on which to build my self-worth; I had someone else’s constant validation, which I so, so desperately needed.You wonder if he or she will like you as much in person. Except the problem is, alongside all of these normal feelings are the not-so-normal attachment issues, an innate crippling sense of self, the feeling of attachment for someone who's basically a stranger and a whole bunch of other confusing and exaggerated emotions that come with having borderline personality disorder.It's fine when you meet the person in question and realize you don't find him or her that attractive, or that the two of you don't quite hit it off. You can find yourself feeling as though you're madly in love, even though you've only known this person for two minutes.Someone could ask you to move out of their way on the train, and you would fixate on the tone of their voice and on their exact verbiage until you convince yourself that not only did that the stranger wish you were dead, but wishes you were dead, and you should, too.Other symptoms include unpredictable actions, harmful behaviour, ever-changing goals and opinions, and my personal favourite, massive amounts of oversharing.

While there are several characteristics, the two I'm going to narrow in on are the “frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment” and “a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.”You can see why dating when you have BPD can be a tad difficult.You can immediately turn off the attachment switch, go as cold as ice and move on with your life, without ever having a second thought about that person. But what about when you realize you kind of like this person, and start spending more and more time with him or her? You inevitably become attached to this person, and can't imagine your life without him or her.After date three, you're picking out your wedding dress and thinking up names for your future children.Everything was new to me, and the world of dating was unfounded territory that I had only previously dangled a foot into before quickly retreating – and when it first began, it was absolutely thrilling.

The honeymoon phase was not only lengthy, totalling to around a year and a half of I love you’s and no, you hang up first!

You have all of the usual pre and post-date feelings, such as excitement, nerves and a small sense of hope that this could be the one.